Damaged

My body is damaged. There are so many unseen things wrong with it. For about ten years I devoted my life to working with kids with emotional problems. Kids damaged by those who should love and protect them. In return for trying to show them the love they missed they showed me everything their parents taught them. I have had my ribs cracked, my throat kicked in, both ankles and wrists sprained so many times I have lost count. I have been head butted so many times that I have gotten a infection where my jaw locked in place. I have had black eyes, bruises and even been stabbed. I have been called fat, had my life threatened, called more horrible names then I can recall. Though my favorite is being called a fat purple hippo and I wasn't even where purple. I feel the years of trying to help these children almost every day. And I feel heart break as I see those who return to their ways. ( This is part of the reason I will not be friends with them on Facebook)
The biggest damage was something that was hidden. Something I never saw and never heard of. Doctors always missed it just telling if I lost weight I would feel better. Or that I was faking it for attention. Finally I saw a doctor who told me he might know the answer. PCOS Poly-cystic ovarian syndrome. Something I had since I was twelve. Damage unseen. Unable to loose weight, weird hair growth, acne, severe stomach pain, depression lots and lots of depression, miscarriages, my hair going gray, craving sugar (yes this makes you craves sweets kinda cruel isn't it) and so many other random symptoms, that every other doctor missed.
It has been two months since miracle baby two. Olivia who we came very close to loosing several times. Now I am challenged with needing to loose the weight so I feel better. But finding the drive and the time with two demanding little ones has been a bit of a challenge. I have lost weight before. When I lived in Alaska I worked out all the time. Two hours at the gym after work. This helped with the damage. However I also didn't have a house, hubby and two kids to care for. Just me. Now I need to work on the fixing my body again before I get new damage. Damage that results in not taking care of the PCOS. Somehow I need to find the drive again. To work out even when feeling ill, tired and depressed.